Have you ever wanted to try something new but found yourself stuck in your comfort zone due to self-doubt? Or maybe you did take the plunge, but your inner critic held you back from performing at your best.
In this edition of “Words at Work,” we’ll explore how self-limiting thoughts can become a self-fulfilling prophecy and how to transform them. We’ll take advice from the “Father of American Psychology,” William James, and delve into cognitive behavioral therapy, the psychotherapy practice inspired by his work.
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Negative Thinking
Consider this story. Amy has always been interested in writing short stories. She loves to read and sometimes writes her own stories in her head. Her friends have encouraged her to take a creative writing class, and while the idea excites her, she hasn’t followed through. She tells herself it’s because she always studied and worked in STEM, so creativity doesn’t come naturally to her. But in reality, her self-doubt is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What if, instead of letting self-limiting thoughts prevent her from exploring a new activity, Amy reframed those thoughts to something more positive? She could think: Even though I don’t have a creative background, I always have the power to try something new. Who knows? I could unlock a life-changing passion or, at the very least, gain the satisfaction of getting better at something and maybe building a creative community along the way!
What thoughts tend to get in the way of you enjoying new experiences? And how can you reframe them to set yourself up for success?
The Power of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
William James, the “Father of American Psychology,” said that the greatest discovery of his generation was that it is possible to change our experience by changing our thoughts. His work inspired cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), one of today’s most popular and scientifically supported psychotherapies.
CBT aims to make people more aware of their thoughts and help them determine whether those thoughts are true and helpful. Referring back to Amy’s story, when faced with self-limiting thoughts about pursuing creative writing, she would apply this concept by noticing each self-limiting thought that arose when she considered delving into writing. The exercise might look like this:
She notices her thought, I don’t have a creative bone in my body, so I wouldn’t be good at creative writing.
First, is the thought true? She enjoys reading stories and imagines her own, indicating she taps into her creativity often. Logically, there’s no way to know if she’d be good at writing until she tries. Plus, creative projects are subjective, and whether something is “good” or “bad” depends on personal preference.
Second, is this helpful? No. Even if Amy isn’t confident in her skills, she can work on them. Even if she doesn’t make new creative connections, she won’t lose existing ones. On the other hand, letting self-limiting thoughts stop her could mean missing out on a new hobby, new connections, or even a potential career.
Examining thoughts in this way becomes easier with practice. The more we dissect unhelpful thoughts and replace them with helpful ones, the more automatic it becomes.
Science Says We Can Change Our Thoughts
The ability to practice choosing more helpful thoughts has been studied by neuroscientists for years. Neuroplasticity is a term used to describe the brain’s ability to change, reorganize, or grow neural networks. The more we use a neural pathway, the more we default to the same thought patterns. By intentionally choosing more helpful thoughts as a regular practice, we can train our brain to default to them.
Practical Steps Toward Healthy Thinking Habits
- Practice being mindful of your thoughts. When a negative thought enters your mind, acknowledge it and notice how your body feels in the moment. Then, let the thought pass like a cloud drifting past your window. If possible, jot down the thoughts along with any physical sensations that may accompany them.
- Find the origin of negative thoughts. Once you’ve identified a thought you want to change, take some time to examine its origin. You may find that it stems from a throwaway comment a parent, friend, or colleague made that you internalized. A more hands-on method for identifying the source of our negative thoughts is through psychotherapy.
- Change the way you frame your thoughts. For example, if you find yourself thinking along the lines of, I’m a terrible public speaker, so this presentation will be horrible, try reframing the thought into something like, Public speaking has been a challenge for me, but I am excited for the chance to show how much I’ve improved!
- Practice until it becomes habit (neuroplasticity). Thanks to neuroplasticity’s ability to carve neural pathways deeper each time we use them, the more we train our brain to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, the more natural it will become. Make reframing unhelpful thoughts a regular practice.
Conclusion
When we make a practice of reframing thoughts that don’t serve us, empowered and positive thought patterns will naturally become more prominent in our minds.
If you’re considering trying something new or facing a challenge, be mindful of your self-doubt. Evaluate whether your thoughts are truthful and helpful, and then reframe them into something positive. Rinse and repeat.
Interested in trying cognitive behavioral therapy? Check out PsychologyToday.com for resources.
Every thought is a possibility.
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