“This could have been an email.”—Every person who’s ever been in a meeting
Recently a coaching client asked me how to open a meeting in a way that actually gets people engaged and focused, especially when it’s not her usual room.
She wanted to avoid the predictable meeting openers that feel like a multiple-choice selection.
You know the ones:
- How was your weekend?
- How’s your family doing?
- What are you doing this summer?
- [Drifting small talk]
I want to be clear: these types of questions are not inherently bad or to be avoided. Open conversation in the workplace is an important part of building strong teams.
But when those questions become the default, they can quietly pull the room away from the reason everyone is there.
So what my client was sensing—and what I’ve witnessed in a lot of rooms—is that most meetings start with a lack of intention.
When leading a meeting, you’ve got about 10 minutes to get everyone engaged before you jump into the agenda.
If those 10 minutes are unstructured, the meeting tends to follow that same pattern. People stay slightly checked out, slightly scattered, waiting to be pulled in.
But when structured with intention, the opener can move the meeting forward instead of just delaying the ‘real conversation’.
Here are some strategies for making those first few minutes count.
Skip the Warmer, Focus the Room
Pause and consider for a moment.
➡️ What are meeting openers supposed to DO?
Most people frame them as warming up the room. And warmup questions do work in the sense that people answer…but they don’t necessarily move things forward.
Even with more creative icebreakers, you still end up having to reset the room so the meeting can actually start.
Kind of counter-productive, isn’t it?
That’s why I don’t think meeting openers should be framed with the goal of “warming people up.” Instead, the goal should be to “focus the room.”
The opener is what sets direction. It signals what matters. It tells people how to show up.
So, I encouraged my client to think about the opener as a way to anchor the meeting. Not by jumping straight into an agenda, but by asking something that requires people to engage with the work, the goal, or the moment they’re in. Something simple, but pointed.
In practice, here’s what that means:
➡️ The openers bring people into the work right away, while still giving them space to share something real.
Instead of swapping weekend stories, it’s about immediately making it clear:
- this is why we’re here
- this is where we’re going
- this is why it matters
Asking the Right Questions
Once the opener goal shifts, the corresponding questions also shift. Here are some that serve to both focus the room and set the meeting on course from the very start.
- “What’s one challenge you’re running into right now that’s still unresolved?” This offers a way for people to easily jump in without overthinking, while revealing what’s going on beneath the usual updates.
- “What’s one thing you made progress on this week that we should know about?” This question starts the meeting with momentum and encourages teams to embrace wins.
- “Where are you feeling the most friction right now?” This one’s good for surfacing blockers/challenges quickly while stimulating collaboration and problem-solving.
- “What’s something you need from this group today?” A question like this immediately ties the meeting to value, and signals that it will be a productive use of everyone’s time.
- “What’s one decision you’re trying to make right now?” This is best for decision-oriented meetings where input from multiple people is needed.
- “If this meeting is useful, what do you want to leave with?” Like #4, this is a way to set expectations up front and create collective focus.
None of these openers sound like filler, and all serve a purpose by setting the tone and pulling people into a more honest, intentional conversation right from the start.
Productive meetings rarely happen by accident. They happen when there’s clarity and direction.
Questions about families, weekends, and hobbies are fun and invaluable for building connective tissue among teams. But when you want to set a productive tone and focus the room, try asking questions that get your people engaged in a way that will support their work and help them move toward their goals—all while feeling that their time was well spent.
