Psychology Says Resolutions Are Dumb

“What is a New Year’s resolution? It’s a meme. It’s a culturally given thing. ‘Why don’t I lose weight, or get healthier?’ It has very little meaning besides that.” —Paul Karoly, psychology professor

Do you have a New Year’s resolution in mind? 

Statistics show that you probably won’t keep it.

A Forbes study found the average New Year’s resolution only lasts 3.74 months. And compared to other studies, that’s a generous estimate.

But don’t give up just yet.

The problem isn’t resolutions—it’s the way we expect our brains to work. When we start to look at the psychology behind resolutions, it makes sense why they fail. And you’ll see that real, lasting change happens when we tap into the way our brains are wired instead of brute-forcing our way to a ‘new me.’

Why Resolutions Fail

Resolutions are built on the illusion of a clean slate. We assume the simple act of flipping a calendar page will override years of practiced thought patterns, nervous system habits, and emotional defaults. 

But the brain doesn’t work that way.

Let’s look at five reasons why resolutions fall through:

1. They’re misaligned with our inner story. Most resolutions are about who we wish we were or what we want to achieve, not who we actually believe ourselves to be. If the internal story doesn’t match the goal, the brain will default back to the familiar every time.
2. They’re built on a social construct. January 1st is an external deadline set by society—not an internal shift. Change that isn’t self-generated rarely sticks.
3. They ignore the nervous system. When we stress ourselves, we revert back to autopilot. A resolution can’t compete with a well-worn survival pattern.
4. They’re too vague. To form a habit, our brains crave positive reinforcement. But a vague goal doesn’t provide us with any sense of achievement or progress as we work towards it, making it ‘all or nothing.’ 
5. They rely on willpower, which is finite. The brain wasn’t designed to sustain change through force. It was designed to sustain what’s repeated.

So the failure isn’t personal. It’s structural. We set expectations that override neuroscience, then blame ourselves when biology wins.

Seems kinda silly when you look at it that way, right?

Working With Science

If we want to see real change that outlasts resolutions, then we have to focus on how the brain naturally rewires: through repetition and consistency.

To begin with, we can take those five reasons why resolutions fail and flip them around:

1. Choose actions that are aligned with your inner story. Commitments stick when they reinforce who you are, not what you want to achieve. Sometimes this means you first need to change your thoughts to change the story you believe about yourself. If you believe “I’m a leader who listens deeply,” that naturally leads into → daily commitment: pause before responding.
2. Build on your current routine. The brain loves predictability, not sudden changes. Tie your commitment to an existing cue or part of your routine, like your morning coffee.
3. Work with your nervous system. This means minimizing stress while maximizing the ‘reward.’ 
4. Make it measurable. Your brain thrives on the dopamine hit from seeing results. That’s why committing to ‘15 minutes of running a day’ will be a lot more effective than ‘be able to run a 5k’ at some point in the future. Tiny actions build evidence. Evidence builds belief. Belief sustains behavior. 
5. Rely less on willpower, more on accountability. Track it publicly—and if you’re in a leadership role, with your team. When leaders model small commitments, teams experience permission, accountability, and psychological safety.

Before you commit to any resolution or goal, run it through these 5 steps. Ask yourself, “Are you working with your brain, or against it?”

Setting Your Own Goals

This year, instead of setting resolutions, I challenge you to follow a simple three-step process for setting goals that you can actually follow through on:

1. Identify gaps in your knowledge or skills. (If you’re a leader, ask your team for their feedback here).
2. Commit to specific, tangible learning goals that align with how the brain naturally rewires. (Refer to the list above.)
3. Share your personal learning journey. (Again, if you’re a leader, share with your team. This is a vulnerable act that shows team members it is okay to have knowledge gaps and that you are learning alongside them.)

The beauty of this process is that you can do this at any time of year. This is how you build change that outlives resolutions.

Growth doesn’t happen because the calendar says it happens, but rather because we choose to commit to it AND practice it in collaboration with others.