You’re Not Stuck—Your Brain is Just Practiced: The Hopeful Science of Neuroplasticity

Have you ever felt in your gut that you want to be doing more in life, but self-limiting thoughts take over, and you wind up caught in a cycle of stuckedness (yes, that’s a technical term) with no path forward?

Feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re broken—it just means your brain has gotten good at repeating familiar patterns. But there’s good news. You can rewire your brain to break these patterns. Here, let’s explore how.

The Role of Rumination in Feeling Stuck

What does “stuckedness” look like? When we’re facing a problem—whether acute, like a conflict at work, or chronic, like a lack of direction in life—it can be easy to think: If I think about this problem long enough, I’m bound to get some direction. But this isn’t problem-solving—this is rumination, and it can be damaging to our mental health.

In fact, research led by Peter Kinderman, Ph.D. revealed that rumination plays the biggest role in past experiences leading to depression or anxiety. “Whilst we can’t change a person’s family history or their life experiences,” Kinderman says, “It is possible to help a person change the way they think and teach them positive coping strategies that can mitigate and reduce stress levels.”

We can improve our mental health—and get unstuck—by taking control of repetitive negative thoughts.

Calming Down Your Nervous System

When caught up in feelings of anxiety and anger, we activate the part of our brain that reacts to danger (called the amygdala). And while we need our amygdala to alert us of real threats to survival (think of our primal ancestors running from predators), it can still sound off when no real danger is present.

It’s nearly impossible to get unstuck when in that emotional part of the brain—which makes hope hard to access in times of rumination. Calming down the nervous system is a vital early step in moving from survival response back to rational thought.

Here are some ways to do it:

• Belly breathing—inhale through your nose, filling your belly and lungs, then slowly exhale through your mouth.
• Notice your surroundings—engage the five senses: what’s something you can see, hear, smell, touch, taste?
• Feel your feelings through—cry if you need to (the release can help calm your nervous system). Consider journaling your thoughts and feelings or venting to a friend (who is a good listener).
• Engage in physical activity—whether a full-on fitness routine, a walk around the block, or a round of chores or errands, physical activity can relieve tension, calm the nervous system, and reduce stress.
• Distract yourself with enjoyable, familiar activities. Listening to your favorite music or watching a beloved sitcom will bring you into a familiar state, helping your body and mind relax.

The Neuroscience of Hope

Hope is talked about a lot in our society, but is rarely defined. This paper published in NIH defines hope as “a cognitive process by which an individual can identify their personal goals and develop actionable steps to achieve results.” The authors contrast this with optimism, which describes a more passive belief that everything will work out in the end.

Because of its more active nature, hope pairs well with the concept of neuroplasticity—the practice of forming new neural pathways by consistently choosing different thoughts. Within the context of rumination, this might look like:

1. Recognizing ruminating thoughts: When you find yourself getting stuck in negative thought cycles, take a pause and label the thoughts. For example, “I’m noticing the same negative thoughts pop up in my head. This is rumination, and I know it’ll only make things worse.”
2. Calming your nervous system: Practice some of the aforementioned stress-relief strategies to take your brain out of fight or flight mode, allowing yourself to tap into your prefrontal cortex, the rational part of your brain.
3. Reframing ruminating thoughts into hopeful ones: If your negative thought is something like, “I will never do anything meaningful with my life,” try shifting the message to, “I have an opportunity to find more purpose in my life, and I will work toward this goal.” The words we choose matter.
4. Practicing hope strategies: Remember, hope can be described as a person’s cognitive ability to identify and work toward personal goals—which makes goal-setting an especially effective strategy. Others may include gratitude and mindfulness practices and learning a new skill.

Conclusion

Helping people understand the power they have to change their thought patterns is a core facet of my work and is born of a personal journey—and struggle—with self-limiting, harsh inner dialogue.

I know how permanent stuckedness can feel. Know that it isn’t. Each of us has the power—right now—to shift out of it, to pivot to intention, growth, and forward movement. It begins with choosing a single thought that fuels you, that bolsters self-esteem, that activates hope, and then practicing that thought over and over until it becomes more automatic.

It worked for me, and it can work for you, too.

Every thought is a possibility. And the possibilities are endless.

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